Why use a doula for a second or third birth

ספט 22, 2013

I’m sure every woman has her own considerations, but one of the main reasons I used Merav as my doula for my second and third births (as well as my first) is that I simply couldn’t imagine — and didn’t want to imagine — giving birth without her. And although my husband (like myself) is a native English speaker and was initially nervous about the prospect of having a native Israeli as a doula, he was quickly won over by Merav and was eager to have her be my doula at my subsequent births.

Merav has an incredibly calming presence, and during my contractions and the delivery itself, I found her to be skilled at maintaining that perfect balance between taking the lead (massaging my back, demonstrating a different laboring position) and picking up on my cues if there was something that I wanted or needed at any given moment. She also never pressured me to do anything a certain way — she asked me if I wanted to touch the baby’s head as it was crowning but didn’t urge me to when I said no, and she didn’t try to pressure me when I decided at one point during my first birth that I wanted an epidural (though I didn’t get it in the end).

There was one constant: Merav

The details of the way each birth unfolds are ultimately unpredictable, no matter how many times you’ve gone through it. And so it soothed me a great deal to know that no matter how the labor was going to start, how long it was going to take, what was going to happen in the middle, or how the doctors and nurses would treat me at the hospital, there was one constant: Merav.

Just the other day, a mother at the playground who’s pregnant with her second child asked me if I had any tips on natural childbirth, given that I’ve gone through it three times. But you know what? I never really accumulated a list of tips, because I never found myself having to answer questions during labor like, “What do I do now?” or “How do I get through this?” The only advice I could think to give her was:  Use Merav as your doula.



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